Monday, May 3, 2010

remembrance of new

You know that feeling you get when you experience something for the first time--something new?
Chinatown, New York

For some strange reason, I suddenly recalled what it felt like to still be fresh in photography, where every click of the shutter led to something new and wondrous. I was still so young in photography then--I still looked at everything with a different light, a different vigor.

I first started in the summer of 2008 when I got my first camera. Then, my eyes were peeled, uncertain of what to focus on. They skimmed over everything around me, took in everything, though unsure of what to find. I just took in what I got and rolled with it. When I looked around me and saw what I liked, I clicked. Minimal thinking on composition, lines, whatever. (Heck, I didn't even consciously realize lines were "important"!) It wasn't much different in 2009.

Now, it's a bit different. Not quite in a bad way. Just different.

I no longer feel the same sort of fresh feeling I did when I first started out in photography. But instead, I can now look around me and zero in on something decisively. It's hard to explain. Back then, I was new to everything, everything was great, couldn't focus, and I shot much more indiscriminately than I do now. Now, it's focus. It's more specific. It's more thinking. The process is not as minimal as before.

Things are different now. But it's nice to remember how I felt before, how I felt in the beginning.

As to why I remembered--I don't know why.

It happens quite often. Sometimes I'll just be sitting, and I'll be absentmindedly raking through my mind, and I'll come across a memory accompanied by the feelings, the emotions, everything--everything about that memory.

Some part of me asked why it seems that my approach at photography has changed over the two years. Right now, at 2:39 a.m., I do not have an answer. But I'm going to think about it over the next few days.

Jersey City Sunset

The Vast Sunset

But in the end, looking back at these few photographs from the past--maybe I didn't start out half as bad as I thought. I think I already innately understood what made a photograph beautiful. I just didn't know as many technicalities (I only learned the rule of thirds and importance of lines in a photography seminar last year!) But the inherent elements--I knew from the start.