Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The story is in the order.

February was not a good month, personally. It was great, however, music-wise.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Free Speech Friday

If you can't appreciate this, get out of my life.

I already loved her before, but this just really made my love and respect for Lianne La Havas skyrocket off the charts. She's somewhere up there on my list right after, if not next to, Anna Calvi. And that's really something.

Monday, February 20, 2012

I don't know what has happened to me this school year. What happened? Why this year?

How do I know when it is time to let go of a friend? You tell me that I'll know when I know that they are back to how I met them--a mere stranger--but how do I know if they are a stranger once more? I can't shake the possibility that they might come back as someone more than a stranger, maybe someday, and I'm hoping soon, but another part of me quietly whispers, Nope, that's it. They're gone. C'est la vie.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012

I trusted the wrong people.

  1. One of my top pet peeves is beating around the bush. And gossip.
  2. I hope you keep this in mind and grow up someday. 
  3. Learn to ask real questions--maybe then you'll receive real answers.
  4. Drop the pretenses. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

lovin' you

If I don't have anyone specific to share this day with, why not share it with everyone?

I hope listening to this will make you want to fall in love again and again.

 Happy Valentine's Day. 

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Look. (No words needed.)

Vladimir Nabokov by Irving Penn

This is the kind of sound I live for.

Jean Pierre Mirouze - "Sexopolis"

This is the sort of sound I dig the most in a soundtrack--lush vibes, decadence; the crescendo, diminuendo, and innuendo of the strings; elegant in a classic, European way.

So very beautiful and wonderful to listen to.

It shares similarities with the soundtrack for Last Tango in Paris, so it is no surprise that I love this so much.

Listening to this song makes me want to find and watch the French film Le Mariage Collectif even though I've no idea what it's about.


This post has been long-past overdue.

Adriana Giotta by Helmut Newton

If I had a chance to talk to any two people, dead or alive, I'd want to have a conversation with my mother and Helmut Newton.

Helmut Newton is the photographer I worship. Think of it this way: just like Vogue is/was considered the fashion Bible, Helmut Newton's work is the bible of fashion photography and black-and-white portraiture.I find myself blown away every time with each and every single photograph no matter how many times I've seen them before, for his portraits have absolutely no equal.

Semi-related but not really, can you just check the price tag on these two portraits of Newton's?


Also, unfortunately, so as not to offend people...I've decided to keep my best thoughts and favorite photographs under the cut because the images would probably be considered NSFW. Not safe for work or viewing near other people who do not understand and appreciate...tasteful nudity, among other things.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

My sadness is almost always explicable, but I can never understand why I feel so angry at the most random times, as in, right now/today/this week. I haven't felt such abiding anger in months and nothing I do helps to relieve this anger, which is only exacerbating this headache I've got (which is as unusual as my anger is).


I am almost certain that there is something wrong with me.

But at the same time--is being me, being who I am, something wrong? How can it be that something that has been part of me/all my life can possibly be inherently wrong?

I don't know what to believe about myself sometimes.

ebb & flow

I do not think it is possible to be happy forever.

I think I can explain most of this when I think of the ocean. Everything is part of an ocean. Nothing stays in the same place.

Every living (and even dreaming) moment is like a wave. Transient, perpetually moving and changing.

As optimistic as I may be (I identify as an optimist bordering on idealist), I am also realistic enough to know that I am not going to be happy no matter what from point x and forward. There are going to be moments and days when people and things are going to disappoint, sadden and anger me; there are going to be experiences that will leave me terrified or heartbroken.

It’s not so much about hoping to stay happy from a certain moment forward—it’s more about being able to stay resilient, just like a wave. There’s the crest of a wave and the trough of a wave—the ups and the downs. It’s about being able to get back up after being knocked flat by a crushing wave. It’s about resisting the pull of a tide, clawing your way back to the shore after being ripped and tossed out to sea, it’s about finding air and being able to breathe again after being plunged an immeasurable distance underwater.

We are capable of doing all of these things.

The objective (or mine, at least) is not to stay happy but to ultimately be happy.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


a single statement could have a thousand different implications depending on which word(s) i choose to stress:

i love you
i love you
i love you

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Friday, February 3, 2012

Maurice Ravel's Pavane pour une infante défunte puts me in an absolutely sublime state of mind. It's a very, very beautiful piece that I just discovered a couple of minutes ago. I picture and imagine a flower slowly blooming and unfurling its petals and a quiet stream of moving water in transition between the end of winter and the beginning of spring.

I read about Ravel and am pleasantly surprised to see that he had this sort of connection to Debussy, my favorite composer, in that they appreciated the same type of music and are often compared to each other, though, as Ravel stated, "[Debussy's] genius was obviously one of great individuality, creating its own laws, constantly in evolution, expressing itself freely, yet always faithful to French tradition. For Debussy, the musician and the man, I have had profound admiration, but by nature I am different from Debussy."