Yesterday,

I lost; the realization and acceptance today made me sigh and smile a little, not out of happiness, but not out of bitterness, either, I'm not sure why I smiled but I did.

I've been very tired of hoping and expecting anything at all.

I clung to every word you ever said.

I starved and thirsted as though I had been wandering the desert for months (months! good grief, can you believe it? because I never thought I'd be this way) searching for your words, the sole oasis in a forsaken and unforgiving land, but all I ever found was nothing but a mirage of you and sand, lots of sand, sand everywhere, grains of sand, a swarm of sand, sand dunes, sandstorms.

Love is the only adversary I have lost to, and love will always be the only adversary I will ever lose to.

But I'll never lose love, or at least I most strongly believe I will not.