she's a maniac

Maniac reworked to something more beatastic in the modern sense.


And the original Maniac (from Flashdance), which is still pure gold to me.

snowy scenery in transit

JANUARY 9, 2012

on the bus back home

past a field i've always wanted to shoot in

The Valley covered in snow

The Valley Path

Silhouetted trees as they can only be in the winter

Home

1

outtakes

week 1 - we'll hate what we've lost but we'll love what we find

I am finding ways to start this year off properly.

the only reality

January 7, 2012


The Only Reality

Inspiration tends to strike me after midnight.
This is still a work in progress, but I have a great idea and vision in mind. It might take a while to complete, though.

I would give up loving someone if I could since I don't think it's right to try to persuade someone to love you back (this was one of the things that bothered me about 500 Days of Summer--unrequited love absolutely sucks, but it's douche-y and terrible to try to force a girl to love you when she just doesn't have feelings for you). EDIT: If it's meant to be, forcing your feelings onto people is not necessary. They will love you regardless of whether you ask them to or not. I don't think true love can be forced.

But it's not all that simple. You can't just willfully stop loving someone or stop having feelings for someone all of the sudden. Or at least I can't. I don't think it's possible for me to stop loving someone (or something) once I've started. And it's not at all possible for me to control who I fall in love with and when that happens. I've got no defense against love, none at all.

(Aside: it astounds me now to think that practically all of me and all that I stand for is dedicated to love, based on love, and in search of love, whether it be in a profession or a person or both or many.)

I considered a question and a thought. I don't know if I'd want to stop having feelings all of the sudden or if I'd want to stop loving someone all of a sudden.

The thought that came to me today was: isn't wishing you weren't a love with someone (who doesn't return your feelings) a bit selfish just because of the accompanying pains and aches?

Does that make any sense? Does anyone know what I am saying?

I don't know.

Yesterday,

I lost; the realization and acceptance today made me sigh and smile a little, not out of happiness, but not out of bitterness, either, I'm not sure why I smiled but I did.

I've been very tired of hoping and expecting anything at all.

I clung to every word you ever said.

I starved and thirsted as though I had been wandering the desert for months (months! good grief, can you believe it? because I never thought I'd be this way) searching for your words, the sole oasis in a forsaken and unforgiving land, but all I ever found was nothing but a mirage of you and sand, lots of sand, sand everywhere, grains of sand, a swarm of sand, sand dunes, sandstorms.

Love is the only adversary I have lost to, and love will always be the only adversary I will ever lose to.

But I'll never lose love, or at least I most strongly believe I will not.

reality and impressions

This photograph reminds me of the painting Der Wanderer über dem Nebelmeer (Wanderer above the Sea of Fog) by Caspar David Friedrich, yes? The similarities are astoundingly uncanny.

Learn to Let Go

Tashaki Miyaki - Somethin' Is Better Than Nothin'

Tashaki Miyaki - Somethin' Is Better Than Nothin' from The Sounds Of Sweet Nothing on Vimeo.


I love everything about this--the [melancholia] mood, the dream vibes, the jellyfish, the ocean vibes, the black-and-white, the underwater/swimming scenes. I love it.