My aunt never ceases to render me aghast with her absurdities.
(Note: I have several aunts. I don’t normally talk about this one.)

I wanted to laugh, flip the table over, and stomp out of this house.

I have completely lost any respect I ever held for her.

I knew I should’ve been suspicious, that whatever “good” she did for me came at a price. Cook me some lunch, and what do I get? A huge, fucking ridiculous lecture. And this is the one thing she said that made me lose respect:

“The job you do doesn’t matter much. The most important thing in life is to have a lot of money—so just get a job that pays a lot. Because money will make you happy.”

And after that, she proclaimed that I should listen to her because she is a “smart woman.”

You know, it’s so mind-blowing that anyone can be so narrow-minded and (insert negative adjective here) so as to dare say something like that. You see—it’s so fucking ridiculous that I’m at a loss for words.
And I so badly wanted to avert my gaze. Not because I was afraid of her, but because I believed she did not deserve the respect of eye-contact from me. I was disgusted.

And later, when she left, she said, "You should research how much fashion editors make!" Lady, do you THINK I AM SO STUPID AS TO NOT RESEARCH ABOUT A CAREER BEFORE I THROW MYSELF AT IT?

"You should major in international trade. They make a lot of money. You should take more courses in computers and programming." Yaddy yaddy. Well, hello lady. Do I look like a businesswoman to you? Do I look like I am best friends with numbers and calculations? Do I seem the slightest bit suitable for that?

Damn it.